I first came to Rachael and Clare after a conversation with my mum who had noticed my extreme low mood over the prior several months but did not know the extent of my disordered eating. I hated expressing my own emotion and used sarcasm and humour as a way of justifying my actions which included restricting myself to one meal a day and binge eating then purging as a way of gaining control.
During my initial sessions I discovered that I have a need for perfection in most aspects of my life which led to exams being an extremely difficult period for me where I would revise until I physically could not go on and yet felt nothing when I received a good result. I also discovered that my perceived role in my family led me to a position of control which actually turned out to make me feel completely out of control.
After having a few sessions with both Rachael and Clare it was clear that they offer different methods of therapy and yet are one cohesive unit who share the same ultimate goal. I never had to explain a current situation twice or give an overview of what I had discussed in one session to either Clare or Rachael which made my experience with them that much more personal.
The space and time in every session was my own and yet was also structured originally around my key goals for eating but then also included strategies to deal with my anxiety around exams and everyday struggles such as breaking up with my boyfriend.
The most helpful strategies I was given are ones that I want to continue to use throughout my life and include the Jacobson and 5 senses techniques, journaling, and breathing exercises.
I am a different person today than I was when I first came to Rachael and Clare. I no longer seek control through restricting and purging and am able to deal with both my anxious thoughts and low moods. This was made possible by of course my own desire to have a better relationship with food but moreover the relationship I have with Rachael and Clare who gave me the space to truly centre myself and both understand and communicate my emotions.
I feel as though they have given me something that cannot be expressed in few words, but which has changed the way I view my past, how I live in the present, and how I strive to live in the future. Thanks, does not come close to what I feel I owe to both Rachael and Clare, and I hope that anyone who is experiencing something of what I went through finds TEDS and works with them in order to live a happier life which is not completely free of eating difficulties but does not revolve around it.
